Were Master’s last words just before He fell into a, what He likes to call “Male hormone induced sleep.” i lay there and couldn’t help but to agree.

The last weeks have been hectic, what with the holidays and near constant house guests, we’ve had very little time for each other and no opportunity to play properly at all. i so enjoy when He spends hours playing with me, restraining me, making me suffer for Him, humiliating me, making me come like there’s no tomorrow. The nervousness, tension and anticipation. But there are also times when just pure lust takes over and we’re both too impatient for anything other than raw sex.

The moment i lay down next to Him when we finally got our house back, His hands grabbed my arse and pulled me against Him. He commented as He reached over and picked up the thaws that He was missing something. He was right, my body showed none of its usual signs of being His property. No redness, no bruising, no welts. He immediately began to use the thaws on my arse as i pressed myself against Him. His cock was hard when i took it in my hand. I love to feel how it swells and jerks each time He hits me. He pulled me up onto my knees so that my arse was facing Him, my mouth hovering over His hardness. As i took Him deep into my mouth i felt His fingers plunge into me, followed by a sharp blow from the thaws. His cock thrust deeper and i began to thrust back against His fingers. He rammed them hard in and out of my eager cunt while my mouth closed firmly around His cock, my tongue licking as i moved my head up and down.

He then pulled me up and told me to straddle Him. His cock slid in easily and i immediately started riding Him. He took hold of both my tits and while He began squeezing them harder and harder He thrust His hips upwards plunging His cock even deeper into me. As i felt my cunt exploding i ground down as hard as i could onto Him. When i heard Him demand i offer Him my tits, i immediately arched backward, offering them to Him as best i could while He began to slap them, harder and harder. My tits were becoming quite painful but the pain, combined with watching Him, His hands as they came down on me, made me grind ever harder against Him, gripping His cock tight as i came harder each time.

His hands continued to slap my tits while He told me that He was going to cane me, my tits were sore and my cunt soaked, sliding up and down on His cock. The thought of the cane, the thought of suffering for Him, made my cunt explode again, it was still clenching Him tight when He pushed me off Him again and I automatically went to position myself to be caned but He roughly pulled me back and plunged His fingers deep into my cunt again. I heard Him laugh at how wet i was before saying that He could probably get His whole hand in me easily. I sucked avidly on His cock as i felt His fingers stretch me open further and further. When i felt His hand press into me i cautiously pushed back against Him, feeling Him totally fill my cunt. My mouth found His cock again and i enjoyed tasting myself on Him, enjoyed His hardness as i licked Him clean, His hand opening me up even more.

Master pushed me down further so that my head was now by His feet. I started to kiss and lick them as He began moving His hand, pushing and pulling, twisting it. It felt totally incredible, my tongue lapped at His feet while He continued to fist me. He commented on how easily His hand had slide inside me without any lube, adding that it was because i was such a slut. Coming with my cunt so filled by Him was very intense and i just wanted Him to go on and on. As i started to come again He asked if i was enjoying it, “Yes Master” i answered in gasps as i rode His fist fanatically. “Good” was His answer “you enjoy the pleasure now, next you’ll feel my pain when I mark your arse.” He continued that i was to count to 10 then He would pull His hand out of my cunt. I groaned at the thought and immediately felt a sharp slap on my arse, accompanied by “greedy bitch!” i hesitated to start counting because His hand felt so good in me and i just wanted to feel it there forever but when i felt Him slap me again i cried out “one” before i felt my cunt clench around His hand again and i came licking and slobbering at His feet.

I counted as slowly as i thought i could get away with, dreading the moment that He would pull out. Coming several times more before i arrived at the dreaded 10. I braced myself but still cried out when i felt Him roughly pull His hand back, leaving my cunt feeling sore and very, very empty. I quickly positioned myself ready for the caning as He’d instructed. “Pleasure and pain, slave” i heard Him growl as the first lash of the cane reigned down on my arse. My body jerked forward but i immediately repositioned myself, my arse stuck out, ready and willing to accept His pain. Some strokes were bearable and it was easier to not move and to await the next lash. Others were more difficult and took my breath away and i struggled to get a grip. Then i would remember His words and forced myself to stick my arse out for Him, fearful for the pain but wanting to please Him, waiting to suffer for His pleasure, wanting to see, hear His pleasure.

My arse felt on fire when Master decided that it was nearly coloured enough for Him to fuck me. 3 quick, sharp blows followed before i felt Him thrust His cock deep into my cunt. His fingers were digging deep into my hips as He fucked me hard. Almost immediately i started to come, i hadn’t caught my breath when i felt His cock swell inside me before exploding hard, sending me off into one last wonderful orgasm.

Yep there’s certainly something to be said for a quickie now and then. In fact it felt very, very good ? My cunt is still somewhat sore, which makes me extremely horny thinking back and remembering how He felt. Which reminds me, we really need to find someone to take pics, i’d so love to have some of Him fisting me; amongst other things that is

My afternoon nap of course consisted, in part, of my afternoon masturbation session where i thought about the breast mangle, i’m excited to try it, my tits are still black and blue from a recent torture session but that actually enhances my excitement. Each time i see the bruising i remember, His face, His words, His pain. When i lay in bed and dream back while teasing my clit with my finger i can’t help but to press my arm down onto my still very tender tits and i instantly feel my cunt clenching as the pain makes me recall how He’d relentlessly beaten them with the torse and the cane. Agony, ecstasy.

I imagined how the mangle would feel, i do so love having my tits bound and beaten, watching as Master tortures them. My cunt throbbing the only thing i could think was of having it filled, the pussyhook? The dildo stand? Both? Would that even fit? His hand does, His hand...

It was so cool to wake up from the nap and read Masters post, actually more hot than cool so now i’m sitting here writing and throbbing and dying for this evening to come

I’ve been thinking lots lately about pain and how i experience it. It is actually pretty weird, it does one of two things for me. Either it’s a question of Master wanting me to suffer for Him and i try every which way to suffer that pain for Him because i am His slave and i want to satisfy His needs or it’s a pain i enjoy and it makes me totally horny.

Pain i enjoy... i broached upon it in my last entry, how i feel when He squeezes my tits so hard that it brings me to my knees. Its apparently a pain i can endure, the strength of His grip brings me literally to my knees, i feel His strength, feel His unrelentlessness and it turns me on so hugely. To see His excitement at hurting me, His cock in my hand, my mouth, His hand, seeing His enjoyment. There is a lot of pain i can suffer because of that, because it turns me on so much to see Him enjoy me so much.

There is pain i enjoy just as is. His fingers are plunging in and out of me, His words, telling me i am a slut making me want to spread my legs wider for Him, the look on His face as He hurts me, as difficult as it can be i offer myself to Him time and again.

The most wonderful pain in the world is when it sends me soaring off into subspace. The only thing in my head being His touch, the way He looks at me, the way He talks to me, the pain, total oblivion, i don’t think i’m wrong in saying that’s what the most masochists are looking for, that wonderful oblivion.

The pain itself is important, vanilla sex bores me, totally. Stroke my tits nicely and i’ll probably smile politely, torture them, twist and turn and slap and whip them and i’ll be coming like there is no tomorrow. Finger me nicely and perhaps i will even come nicely but fist me while Your telling me how and why i am Your slut and all my inhibitions are gone and i’ll just ride Your hand until i come over and again.

Humiliate me and let me feel Your control and i will submit, fully. Fasten me in chains, my cunt filled with the pussyhook or skewed on the dildo stand while He walks around me, His hands teasing me, hurting me, taunting me, i’m lost.

I guess it all comes down to the fact that pain is not pain. I’m not so masochistic that i just enjoy pain, actually no pain what so ever is involved in any of the masturbating i do on a daily basis, even though it’s the feature in what i fantasize while i masturbate. It just doesn’t work without the passion of submitting.

Sometimes i think perhaps i should be ashamed, perhaps i should just be happy with some nice satisfying sex several times a week as the majority of society apparently is, but really i’m not. i’m fascinated and turned on by everything that is perverse and different. I hate monotony, i hate to have control, i love the excitement of not knowing, of being used and abused in the most obscene situations. Hmm i guess when i started out in BDSM one of the most exciting aspects to me was being forced to do the things i wanted to do but just would never dare to do.

Then i think nope nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of, i feel pretty good about my sexuality, there are far worse ways to fill life

Just a quick post to wish you all out there the very best for the coming year!

Pfft its so difficult to find good quality sm movies, well maybe its not, its just that i don't know where to look. A little while ago i posted about it on my other weblog (gasp yes, another weblog missssin to be exact) to little avail so i thought i'd give it a go here. Suggestions anyone?

Hmm what constitutes a good sm movie? i guess that's different for everyone but i guess for me it needs to be, in the first place, passionate, tension, excitement. i'm not really interested in seeing a close up of someone's arse for 15 minutes while its reddened by uninterested whacks, i want to see *passion* Her struggle as she's pushed just beyond her boundaries, his enjoyment at her struggle. Her embarrassment at his humiliation, his pleasure in humiliating her. Her will and eagerness to please, her submission to him called upon by his natural Dominance toward her.

All encased of course in hot passionate sexual deprivation ;) So if any of you out there have any suggestions for such a film i'd love to hear about it.

The last week has been kind of hectic but in a very good way. Settling back into a daily routine of work and serving Master has felt extremely good. Its very strange actually, although i have been living here with Him for months now, it wasn't until we picked up all my stuff yesterday from my previous address that i felt i had actually moved in, not torn between two homes, but here at home with Him, at His side as His business partner, at His feet as His slave. i hadn't realized the restlessness that this had been causing within me until Master carefully pointed it out recently, now all we need to do is to double the size of our apartment to accomedate all my stuff and everything should fit in perfectly :)

Amidst moving, working and shopping trips for stuff to finsh the redecorating of our apartment (it even actually feels different to say that now.) i have been working on a new weblog which is just about up and running at www.missssin.nl It is totally not my intention to replace this one, this is and always will be the place i write for Him, but more of a branching out into other areas of interest, a kind of playing ground for me.

Speaking of playing grounds, i am still somewhat weak at the knees and a little sore from a wonderful session with Master a few days ago, but more about that in a seperate post.

Yesterday i thought i would finally get my chance to beat Master's butt, at pool that is, not literally of course, when it comes to that i am quite happy to let Him be the one doing the beating. Something went very wrong though, i miserably lost the first game, potted both the black and white on the second, leaving me with only the overwinning of the last game. i guess technically you could say that He won, He certainly says He did but was the second game really a win or merely me screwing myself over resulting in not winning? Judging by all the head shaking and protests after i mentioned this i'm thinking that He did not agree with this theory, i'm not sure i'm convinced you...

Yep did it again forgot my shoes on time, Master punished me with 10 strokes, i sometimes think i should just not bother taking the damn things off so i don't forget. Its very tiring, try as i might i just cannot seem to get it right.

Yesterday i had dinner with a good friend, what seems like a life time away now we served as slaves next to each other. As with all things in life the path wound in directions that we had not expected. Bit by bit she experimented with her Dominant side, with me, to the enjoyment of both of us. In time i met my Master and fell head over heals and our playing stopped. She continued on the road to Dominance and now is the Mistress to two slaves.

The idea of 'switching' is for me unfathomable but with her it 'fits.' It's cool to see how she has grown in that period, her perceptions have changed but she still understands a slaves heart. It set me to thinking about my own Dominant streak, could i? would i? Nope, i really don't think i could, there are parts of me that can identify with it, the planning, the training, the slowly but surely having some submit with all their heart totally to you but i am just not sadistic, i have no inclination to use a whip on someone, to control someone, i enjoy it way too much myself to want to take on that role.

That said i have pretty much always had the dominant role in relationships, not in a BDSM sense but its something that i now still come across and have difficulty dealing with. Its not something i want, totally not, my choice to submit was a very conscious one but sometimes old habits die very very hard.

Its one of my tasks to tidy away the things that Master has used on me during a session and i've noticed that i'm always pretty lacks with this, delaying it as long as possible. Yesterday i walked into the bedroom and saw all the whips and other such stuff still laying around from when Master had played with me a few days ago and realized that even though Master had not yet commented on the fact that i still had not done it, it had been a several days so i really should put everything away.

With each whip i hung back in its place i thought about how He'd used them on me, i thought about my reluctance to put the stuff away always and why that was. i guess its the same feeling i get when He tells me to put in my rings, at that moment i know that He is then not planning on whipping or spanking my cunt in the coming days, i don't really know how to describe that feeling, a kind of acceptance i guess, or a sort passiveness, i'm not sure how to describe it. Yesterday i realized that it was the same with the toys.

A few days ago Master called me a pain pig, perhaps He was right, there are days when i still do not know what to make of it all, but i'm sure some day i will figure it all out.